The Chronology Issue

Jesus, soft drink drama

Jesus was born in Bethlehem, Palestine,  a country where Palestinians have names: Mohamed, Abdel, Mounir, Aziz, Ahmed, Farid, Omar, Yusuf, Mouloud, Mokhtar, Abdallah, Abdul, etc.

To find the followers, He went to Jerusalem, Izrael, a country where Jews have names: Aaron, Shlomo, Shimon, Yoel, Noam, Nathan, Menahem, Yitzhak, Benyamin, Yigal, etc.

First Miracle

Jesus found 12 persons for His Last Supper with neither Palestinian nor Jewish American names: Peter, Paul, James, John, Thomas, Luke, Matthew, Andrew, Philip, Simon, Bartholomew, and one local name, Judas.

Second Miracle

Jesus turned water into wine. All guests became His Apostles (followers) after tasting this soft drink.

Judas pretended not to like the taste, kissed Jesus, and, at His order, reported the miracle of the “the fake wine” soft drink to the Sinedrion Jewish authorities. They rewarded Judas with 30 silver coins and sent a Roman patrol that took Jesus to the Sanhedrin for a hearing. After the hearing, the Sanhedrin sent Jesus to Pilate, the governor of the Roman Empire that occupied Israel, to punish him for unlicensed activity. Pilate fined Jesus for a misdemeanor of 39 lashes and sent Jesus to the local ruler, King Herod. Hard-drinking Herod refused to taste the “fake wine” and sent Jesus back to Pilate, asking to raise the punishment to the top level.

 

 

The overwhelming number of hard drinkers in the crowd not only supported but insisted on the ultimate punishment and threatened to complain to Emperor Tiberius.  Governor Pilate, concerned with public order in the Roman colony of Izrael and afraid of demotion, had to comply, washed his hands, and ordered the Crucifixion of Jesus.

The introduction of the new ideology under the guise of promoting a non-alcoholic soft drink turned into a record-breaking promotion event that ended dramatically both for Jesus and Judas. The “fake wine” soft drink promotion became a long-term success we still admire!